A Sentimental Promenade
Today I got a bit sentimental after eating my lunch so I took a promenade walking around listening to a book. And on this sentimental walk I took the opportunity to try to time travel back the lane of nostalgia back to what once were my home and neighbourhood.
Back my feet took me up to Kronan. Into the forest and past the newly (or relatively new) built area of Kronan Neighbourhood. There I finally found the path which I’ve walked on so many times. An old road from my past that had been there since what feels like forever.
On that road we’ve orientated countless of times when we were in school. I’ve built several hide-outs after this road. Being bitten by a snake, climbed over into the power station there and walked it countless of times when going to Foppa.
The road soon turned and in the curve a bicycle road continued into the forest. On this road I met people before it took me down to my old block and my old home. I spent a lot of time talking to my former best friends’ – Daniel Lejon and Mikael Lejons – mother Ingegerd. My block seemed almost the same, only half dead and without all the kids.
This though was only an illusion. As far as I could tell there were even more kids living on the street now than it had been lately. In my house a family with two small children had moved in and some of the kids barely knee-high were now big enough to ride around and bring havoc to the street as kids should do.
Speaking and seeing everything I tried to pull back as many memories as I could and really enhanced my trip into my world of nostalgia. It was really refreshing even though I do so miss some stuff. And hearing what’s happened to everyone makes one really think how much have happened the past few years. It seems like no time at all has passed but even so, so much have changed. The “kids” are grown up. Like Lisa Lejon, she’s now older and have boyfriend and seem to be an older more… aggressive than ever before. She’s eighteen which is hard to believe now. I remember when we were small and tricked her into kissing us (me and some friends to Daniel). I wonder if she would remember that.
Micke is still a mercenary it seems somewhere in the south of Sweden and Daniel seems to try to become a teacher in Umeå. That was quite a surprise. Never thought he would do something like that. I might say hi to him next time I go to Umeå. Erik Lejon, the oldest brother that married a girl when I was 17 seems to have gotten a son and a divorce. It seems like he’s having a hard time now. I wonder if he remembers how I spread rumours about him when I was 10. People even believed it! It’s funny when I think about it now. Completely Goulash. But then again I was 10, that was too been expected.
On my way home I thought about everything that has happened since then. How I ignored Daniel childish foolish ways as soon as I found a person who could understand my conversations and be able to play role-playing games the proper way. How I met Markus Öhman1 and my first encounter with Robert2 and David Henriksson. I remember so much, all the fights, all the sorrows, all my girlfriends and how WANO started and how I finally managed to move out of my home and my first encounter with Daniel Åström and so on, and on…
Sometimes I regret some choices I’ve made (or not made) but its mostly because of the opportunities I lost that would have been interesting. I remember a boy my age that confessed to me that he loved me once. I wonder if that had anything to do with me turning bisexual? I remember my first crush on a boy, and how I finally realized that I actually were bisexual. I was 17 at the time and had no idea before that. I remember fights and I remember drugs.
I think that in my life what I’m most proud of so far is probably how far I’ve actually managed to harness my personality. How skilled I’ve managed to become in some aspects of my social personality. My manipulation. One of the things I most regret is how I gave up too quickly before. Like Anna3, Martial Arts and moving out.
Well, just one little thing here and there would have changed a lot. But I’m satisfied with my life now and my situation. But satisfied is not the same as content. If you ever become content with your life you stop expanding and creating things. I need my drive to create, change, grow, explore or I will really grow dull.
I’m happy for everything, especially Robert and the good times with Rasmus, even though he seems to stray now lately. Well, things change. Either you accept it or you dig yourself down brooding over it. Like Foppa. It’s strange though how much time and how focused my life have become around “The Group”. It some aspects this is not good. Limiting oneself around such a close little circle. Well, it seems like “the group” is changing too so maybe I’ll be forced as I’ve already started to, to spread out and not focus myself on a limited number of individuals.
Well, that’s enough ramble of sentimentality for one day.
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