Late talks in the night

This is something I seldom do nowadays. Talk with someone until late at night only because I feel and want to. It’s been too long since I’ve had a really fulfilling experience like that.

But well, it’s happened a few times recently and it’s really fun to be able to talk to someone again in this manner. There are a relatively few I’ve ever done this with and since I’ve kind of grown away from Foppa in a way, it’s no longer possible. I think the last great talk I’ve had with him without being annoyed about his own stubborn stupidity and reluctance to try is… I don’t know, years ago?

If we count SMS though I’ve had a few with Robert and those really warm my heart even though this is not really the same. I remember how I’ve done this with a couple of my old internet friends. Some of which I no longer have any contact with and others seems to almost have vanished from my corner of the Internets.

But just recently I’ve started to talk again with one person and its great how much people change over the years. When observing those younger than oneself it’s easier to follow their change that to observe one closer to my age not to mention myself which is really hard thing to do. Like Rasmus for instance. I have a very clear and vivid memory of how I was when I was in his age, but somehow I must be wrong. It feels like the difference is too great and this is something I’ve observed in a non-objective way for quite sometime now.

It’s impossible to even try to be objective in a situation like this when the only concrete facts I have to go on is highly tainted by my own perspective of subjectivity from a time when I couldn’t really single out the elements needed to verify or compare the nature of the traits which I’m trying to compare. I’m fairly certain I can do it from about Rasmus’s age since it was very recently it happened. It was just before my great change and it was what I would like to call “The Year of Calm” for me. Everything settled down then. Everything was as calm as it is in the eye of the storm. I had my very focused vision on fighting and anime and such but my mind was focused, even more so than now I would like to say, as well as my dedication and thought of direction. But even so, the difference in behavior is almost too great between me and Rasmus for that to be completely accurate. But I’m not sure…

Anyway, talking with someone and sharing in this way is freedom for the soul as well as stimulation for the heart and mind. It releases tension which somehow builds up over everything and it makes it easier to remember one’s choices and where they came from to begin with. It’s a very good feeling which brings a good spice to life I must say. I think I can say without a doubt that the great memories in the making with talks like this, is one of the things which will fuel the reason to live even though it won’t be the thing which pushes it.

Memories and emotions sure are a great thing, no matter how much they sometimes seem to hurt, hehe. But then again most if you aren’t aware of this I would guess, or cares. Haha…