Travel Journal – Saturday 1/5 – 2010

Sumo, good weather but bad mood…

Well, the day began… okay. I was in a strange mood already when I woke after having a long uncontrolled lucid dream about some more sensitive things in my life amongst some of the currently active matters before me. This plus the sudden re-realization over the fact that a week from now I’ll be home made me to be in a very, very strange mood.

But yesterday we had decided yesterday to go to this Walk Around activity in the Sumo District. Some tourist things with couch surfers and locals. Wonderful! Finally doing something with our time! Let’s see, how do we get there? Ah! This way! Hmm… no? Ah, now! So let’s see… people! Yeah, people. Talk to them, yes, yes… talking…

I have no idea why but as soon as we were at the gathering I started to feel a not so positive feeling about the whole thing. I could only define my feeling as aggro and antisocial. I simply didn’t really have the energy to surround myself with people and even less to talk to them really and be as you often must be if you are to be perceived as you need to be perceived if you are to have a good time around them. I just felt like biting everyone’s head off.

In the beginning I thought it was just some of the leftover frustration from this morning and yesterday but it just escalated. I annoyed myself over things I usually try to ignore, but what ultimately made me loose my patience was that I felt confined. Confined in an unorganized group of uninteresting people doing uninteresting things being asked uninteresting questions while my last hours in Japan was just rushing away. After speaking with Drak I left the group to go on my own and do my own thing instead.

Now, I didn’t do anything interesting. Or even worth mentioning really, I mostly went around in different areas of Tokyo I haven’t been to, trying to find my way and talking to people and just walking and thinking and relaxing in parks. I ate here, I ate there. But at least it felt like I did something with my time. But my bad mood didn’t stop there, I just felt more content strolling around on my own at least.

I could have gone further though with my stroll, but that would have required me go to a bar or something similar. But I really didn’t think that smoke, alcohol and things like that would heighten my mood right now. Maybe it would, its possible it would, but then again I had the key to our apartment and if I drank my stomach was sure to try to make itself reminded the next day. Speaking of which, my stomach ache has mostly disappeared. Not really disappeared but the worst of it anyway. The lesser ache is still there every now and then but it’s mostly a mild warning compared to before. It’s actually a sign that it’s getting better.

Well, one of the factors of my bad mood I think is one, we’ve been sleeping or slacking too fucking much lately. It’s seldom we’re up and about before 12. I often wake up around 8-9 and I know Drak wakes up every now and then around 9 and I think he’s completely awake around 9-10, but for some reason it takes a while before he gets up. I often take one of my computers and write on it or do whatever around that time. Anyway, that is one of the factors to my bad mood. That plus that I miss certain specific persons I have home, plus my cats. There is a lot going on back home for me (In my mind) and things might change soon and thus I have a lot of thought in that. That, plus everything else makes it cumulate that a little mood swing turns my mood into a dark mood.

Right now I miss those specific elements from back home and wouldn’t want nothing more than to either have them here or to be back home, but to make myself clear. I do not miss home, only some very mobile things from back home.

Well, I won’t go on anymore about this, maybe I’ll write an additional post. Tonight I’ll chat as much as I can with those specific persons and then I’ll eat a lot and go to bed and eat a lot for breakfast too. An early morning tomorrow will be. The last day of freedom with the railpass. Yes.

Best Regards,
Herid Fel