The Rush of Energy

Today I decided that my body had been settled long enough to try an energy drink to see what happens. The result, so far, is pleasing and I had almost forgotten the rush of energy that actually comes like a sip of cool water, ever so slowly but clearly noticeable. Not necessarily giving creativity but sure gives strength and energy.

What is needed to turn this energy to creativity is solely some stimulation and stimulation I’ve had, and more than I’ve had in a long time. Somehow my retreat to Umeå calmed my mind somehow almost like a short dose of Japan. Walking, resting, mostly doing just what sprung to mind which with the nice weather was mostly being outside walking and getting more familiarized with Umeå.

The early mornings somehow gave me back my morning fondness, especially with this nice weather we’ve been having the past few days. So getting up early and walking most of the day and playing with the kids the rest of the day was kind of soothing. Today I couldn’t resist the urge to take a stroll after breakfast and well, that stroll took almost three hours. Although I stopped here and there to sit for a while and read, but mostly moving around. I even visited my mother, she really have big plans for the party of hers. A little over exaggerated if you ask me to cook nine dishes and buy so much snacks and food, but then again she is in the “normal” culture and also she’s fifty… I guess that is excuse enough.

However I’ve almost read three whole books since Sunday (I decided to restart the WoT, again) and I’ve soon finished The Dragon Reborn. Reading, and walking, and eating and getting both exercise as well as stimulation from both reading and thinking have really been nice. When I came back for lunch I decided to take an energy drink and I must say that it was really pleasant as I then went out, again to visit my father to get some cushions for my mother. Well, I could feel the flow in my body both physically as well as mentally when I started to do things after I took an energy drink. My heart hurt a little, but only the normal amount I’m used to always. So I guess, but I’m not sure, that things finally settled back to normal again.

I realize it’s been quite some time since we played last – two weeks tomorrow =) – but I unfortunately must say that I actually don’t miss it yet. Not that I’ve lost my will to play or anything, I guess that being more alone and more “myself by myself” increases my cynicism and objectivity. Not that it matters, not to me at least. I’m trying to build a world, a story which is stimulating and interesting to me as well as others, but sometimes my vision is so different from all the others that I think that it’s impossible to do it in the way I’m trying to.

But things unfold good, most of the time and it’s fun and stimulating even tough some things disappoints. Haha, it’s interesting how my words seem to be formulated in these last two paragraphs, but hopefully the message will be seen, tough I doubt it. It’s hard to read what’s meant to be read when you can’t see or think other than what yourself can think and feel. However I hope we’ll continue and that we’ll get some more progress, I think that I will most likely lower my tolerance and push things more forward. I think I’ll not wait any longer and try my trick build of the picture description. It’s lost anyway, simplify will probably prove easier anyway for all of us. And hopefully we won’t lose Wilhelm, tough I’m doubtful about that.

Well, let’s make history! I’ve also started to try to get the TA group to form history now. Before I had my intentions of mostly just feeding them this or that to make my world alive but now I’ve actually put them into a tale I never finished which they will be able to shape. So the Outsiders will now take a guest influential role in my campaign and writing project of “The Knight of the Steel Rose” which I begun in eight or ninth grade but never finished writing since the people involved in my writing disbanded the project due to lack of interest.

Well, well… time to finish The Dragon Reborn, I think I’ll finish it tonight, hopefully and then get onto The Shadows Rising. Tomorrow we’ll restart the X-files on a whim of Robert’s, he was satisfied with the first one but he seems to want to play it another way after a renewal of his memory of the series. It seems like Rasmus wasn’t to happy about it to begin with but as always he does not have much choice, this time tough it seems like Foppa would join. And I must say, I’m not happy about it, not happy at all, but most likely it’s my cynicism talking there. But we’ll see and I’ll try anyway, for Robert’s sake, as always.

Best regards,
Herid Fel