Ramble XVII

I just se how the gap grows bigger and bigger every day now. It’s hard to find something to write about that is of interest but well, I have a lot to write about actually only that I just didn’t feel like it and that much of what I have to write about is sensitive material which I don’t want to share with someone I don’t trust. Which is nobody or, I trust one person, but that person isn’t there for me or probably non existent.

Life is sometimes a terrible thing. It’s sick and twisted and has a weird kind of logic to it. I think about a lot of stuff all the time which sometimes gives the illusion of an intellectual process. Well, maybe it is an intellectual process but even so I kind help it but feel frustrated over obvious choices.

Well, all this playing has taken quite a lot on my energy. Not to mention something other than usual is wrong with me. I suspect that my stomach is starting to act up again, because just a day or something ago I was making breakfast in my stomach twisted in that horrible way which make me loose all my strength is my body. It only happened for about, two to four times and I nearly threw up but even so, I would not like to have it back. But the strange thing is that usually it approaches little by little, but this time it just sprung right out of the blue. Or maybe I was too tired to notice or something, blaming it on the morning sickness I have…

Well it doesn’t matter anyway. My body is strange and defect and I’ve learned to live with it. Even though my sight is getting more stable I still fear that it won’t ever go back to its full strength. I could just ramble on and on about this but I just got tired of just pouring out all of this, there is no use anyway.

Yeah, I fell like I’m currently creatively exhausted. I’ve created so much lately and constructed so much crap or whatever to call it for the RPG that I have some dryness in both my motivation to act and create more for the moment. Today¹ have been a good break I think but then again, we won’t play for quite some time. Tomorrow won’t be possible and I will be busy with a party this Friday, my sister is moving out, and most likely I will be in neither the mood nor the shape to play on Saturday and Sunday is out of the question and Monday is The Outsiders.

Next week I hope to finish Phase Two and I’m not sure but I might cut away the single session to just a short part of the end of the original last session. I think that since people aren’t that interested in continuing these characters I don’t plan to waste too much time on them. The single sessions are for character development which is unnecessary if the characters will end either way.

Yeah, ramble over. No more to talk about, back to anime and food.

1. Wednesday ↩