Ramble XII

And so it seems we’re here again. Things have started to settle down and I think I’ll soon be back into my old spirits. I’ve felt stressed and kind of out of character or something the past few weeks and it was kind of hard trying to relax during New Years Eve, still hadn’t recovered then.

So now I think that ABF should be finished in any day now and then I’ll need to finally fix the stuff for the association so everything can be finished this week. Pay some bills and look over my economics and plan a little ahead and also start looking on prices and places to stay for March.

The server is running and I plan to fill it with some of the lost data from my corrupt disk soon, if you have a request just put upload a file with the name of the file or files you want and I might see to it.

Well, well, I also have some short stories to finish, if I ever get in the mood for it. Most likely I won’t finish them other than a short summary of what will happen since it seems like there will be hectic much for me to do soon when I’m going to keep three groups going and prepare for a forth. And I have thought of finishing some stuff for the university too, right. I won’t have time for that most likely.

Not if I include RPG, EverQuest II, Series, TV-Games, School and association-related stuff into everything. Priority number one is to live and then most likely my own space to be followed up by RPG and so on. School will come last. As I see it right now, school and work is something I’ll do when I loose my purpose to do anything else. Then I’ll try on that normal life.

Speaking of which, my social life is corrupt. Feelings and thoughts mixed with emotions and other stuff makes things complicated, especially with my mood swings. I am socially incompatible and when one and one aren’t two there are problems. Like for instance when being with one’s family. People talk and talk, but I don’t even feel like talking or even make a decent conversation with the people around me. It’s not fun, it’s not giving, and no matter what I do things like that seems highly unnecessary.

No what I want from life is a strange thing and life doesn’t seem to want to give it to me easily anyway so I just do what I usually do to get what I need from life. Like I said to some persons just recently; No matter how much a human gets, the humans will always want to have something more. We have earth, we want the moon. If we have both; we want another planet and its moons. No we want the galaxy, everything… I bored… I want something more. Let’s create it, no let’s fight over it! Yeah, we died! … ?

Yeah, that’s how it is, no matter how much you deny it you always wish for something else, but the question is… is it better to long for it than to have it? Sometimes I think so, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you just need to come to a point where you have something and want to, with what you have, make something more of it thus wanting something more, but still not needing much more other than some creativity.

Well, good night to you then.

Best regards,
Herid Fel