Truth – Part Two – Usage

How do you use truth? As a way to make others believe in you or as a way to justify your actions? Is truth something you use to be honest and to be able to live with yourself in this world or is truth just the tool to achieve trust and the goals of the person? How do you use truth and do you use lies to cover the truth? When do you use truth and when do you simply try to work against it? This is a series about truth, my thoughts about it in general and it somehow holds a hint of things, as always, about who I am. But as stated, you could say that everything I write somehow gives away a piece of who I am. Even if you were to lie with this text trying to obstruct the truth in a way to make you think that I think like this the thought still needs to originate from something behind these words…

Or does it?

I would think that to be able to fully understand my thoughts about truth you should have read the first part, but well then again it will most likely seem like a lot of rubbish when I’m not organizing my text in the way of a scientific text or even a rightly philosophical text. I just write as I see fit in my order and my thoughts which is building up as the thought that have been building up in my brain for a week or so. Why am I actually writing this? Have you ever, ever tried asking yourself that when you read a post? Why am I, Oskar, writing the posts you supposedly are reading? Is there a purpose to my texts, am I trying to manipulate or have you think of things or am I just trying to express myself in the only ways I see possible? Am I lying in these texts and is the pure thought of the texts just simply manufactured and not at all related to me in any way?

I can not force you to believe anything at all but as often previously stated most of what I write on the blog is for me even though there’s a lot here only meant for others than myself. I write in the belief to that it will be read by someone that is trying to understand or at least have an interest in a dialogue with me on my own level or at least a challenging level of any kind. I use truth both as truth and lie because I know how to do it. I mystify things and twist them because I know that as long as I do this I will give the person a challenge that only a person that could challenge me would be willing to do. Someone willing to know me would use this to get to know me and then use my own truth against me. Twist my own twists and force me into a corner where both he (which not necessarily needs to be a he) and I would be so exposed that it would either end up in catastrophe for both of us or just total exposure for one of us.

I cannot say that my texts are directly true but it is at least not lying. I may twist things as I wish, bend some things to my will and suggest other things subtlety. This though, is kind of the point with this part of the truth-series, usage of the truth. I use truth to get what I want but I also use lies with truth to enhance the truth in ways that is almost impossible to notice without trying to notice by being sneaky and trying to get a hold of information that you can’t get without asking someone who knows or consulting a memory that is almost photographic and in that way see the inconsistencies when you notice the flaw of memory in the liar and just by noticing the changes in the story you will be able to pinpoint the real lie and the real truth. Note that this is a tool I use, but it’s also a tool that is most effective when used against me.

The reason for me telling this is that even though you keep to the truth you will come to a point when a beneficial truth is hurting you even though the truth will only make you go against YOURSELF and in my case making me contradict my own believes and in the same way also saying that I’m not only untrue to myself I’m also a hypocrite trying to live in my own lie surrounded by lies which I try, like a mythomaniac, to believe myself. What could though make the thing even more complicated is if my intention is not to go against myself or even my actions aren’t like that, but what you can see is that I am going against myself but you can’t see it in that way if you doesn’t have the truth already and then the purpose of this would have been solved, if you confront me with it.

This is a bad way of dealing with things because it suggests that I actually use others to drag something forward, to expose or to arouse a situation from nothing to use that situation as an excuse to do something radical or to even fabricate a truth, by hiding the real truth behind a new truth created by a person who doesn’t even comprehend the situation fully and never will be because of the fact that he’s just been used to hide that truth and from his viewpoint that will be enough. Then the intentions and the self-lies would eventually have the person of the truth-lie to be untruthful in some way or/and have him passing the moment without the redemption or retribution or what you now like to call it, without any effects.

I use truth and lies all the time, mostly to protect myself but as said to mystify things and give people a challenge to se if the person is just curious like every fucking human or if he has a genuine interest in knowing about me or about whatever the truth-lie is about. A test of determination and validity of your curiosity. Which is a control-behaved thing to do, who am I to decide who get’s the truth or not. Obviously, I am the one who are doing it if I am in possession of it. Nothing is free in this world, even though it might seem like it sometimes.

White lies, black lies, grey lies, borderline lies, truth-lies and future lies and non-lies is all based on truth and I use them all. It’s easy to categorize them if you use them often but everything that isn’t the truth is lies. Which will make a lot of things lies, and I will not deny that, because lies is a tool that shouldn’t be underestimated and it should be used. But sometimes you need a real truth to not only justify all your lies but also to make your lies meaningful. Lies without reason (adequate reasons) is nothing that I would defend or support in any way even though I will admit to have used things like that in pressed situations.

Sometimes though one uses lies to protect himself, these lies are actually the worst lies you could ever use. Because lies like that often only hurt you and even if they were exposed you still would be the only one suffering, but you wouldn’t suffer even half as much if the truth was known in these cases. Mostly at least. But sometimes one restriction of yourself, or lie which I want to call it, will snap back at you in more ways than one. If you try to cut yourself from your lie and make the lie a non-lie and make the truth true then you often tend to lose a lot of yesterday in the package as well.

Best regards,
Herid Fel