About People

I have to admit, people change and so do I, obviously. The one who probably knows me the best have noticed and the way notices things in is a very special accurate way even though he most of the time is oblivious about his own success to understand me. This is too bad, because if he would he would probably beat everyone that ever tried to understand me.

Well, admitting that people change and I change is nothing that actually gets me further forward in my life when my life seems very bumpy. Life will end as I know it sooner or later and things will change for better or worse. It’s not easy all the time to admit this and actually acknowledge this but you need to do it anyway.

Sometimes it feels really useless to open up to people and try to tell them how you feel and what you feel when they most likely won’t listen or even be able to understand what you are saying. People have their problems and why should I go on with mine then? Because it makes me feel good? Well, at least I get to give away some tension from myself but that’s something I can do to a total stranger, or can I?

Well, apparently I can’t. I only feel good when trying to tell the ones concerned and the ones I trust in this. I don’t trust in many people and some of those I trust in don’t trust me, which is quite ironic when it’s pretty hard to gain my trust. Well, that’s life I guess.

This quote fits pretty well into my life right now;

I want Tyler, Tyler wants Marla, Marla wants me.¹

The thing I want to get out of that quote is that I have what I want but what I really want I can’t have because I need to have something else or something like that. If I try to break lose from something I end up just behind it again. In this he’s right. But well…

This is getting circular, if I continue to write it will only go in circles. Maybe I’m too tired, but well, the sum of everything is that I should give things time and slow up…

So well, if that makes sense to you I sure hope that you² one day will understand what the hell I mean.

Best regards,
Herid Fel

1. With reservations for misquoting, I don’t remember this quote to well. ↩

2. By you meaning those who this is directed at ↩