Heed My Warning

Well, no RPG today either, yepp. But indirectly, just by mentioning it I actually make the post about it anyway. Well, it doesn’t matter anyway I think because my life here will always revolve round role-playing. It’s a fact and even though some might not like it. Everyone knows that my life is both driven by and uphold by RPG so well… that’s me.

Though these posts when I say things like this isn’t about RPG specifically. No stories, no rules, maybe my plans for it but nothing deep, just things that’s about me and so on. Like tomorrow, or today if one like… we are going to play. And tomorrow I’m going to play with the kids and so on for all eternity. Well whatever…

I’m quite unstable right now, not that you will be able to tell, but I can tell you anyway. Before I had mood swings, due to some problems I had nagging me back and forth, well, that’s nothing from now. I think I have some serious problems right now with my body and myself, of course I won’t really accept this. I never do, that’s the way I am. My limbs will fall off before I actually admit that my symptoms will go away. Willpower can sometimes do the most wonderful thing, but well…

Let me tell you something you already knew. On this blog I often write about how I think what I do and what I feel. Do not take this lightly, do not joke about it, and do not try to make some lame ass comments about it if you do not understand it or even try to do it. Even if you wouldn’t care about it, I still do. And I get very, easily pissed off by someone trying to make fun of my reality without trying to understand. Live with it, or piss me of, your choice.

You know, I work like this; I observe others… When I do this I take notes, often just in my mind, but this is something that I never seem to forget, sometimes mix up, but never forget. I then use my previous knowledge and my knowledge in the area of behaviourism and that kind of shit and analyzes and test people all the time. Test their limits; test how far I can go with some certain things. I then try to make an appropriate estimate about how much they’ve gotten to know me and how much I’m able to read them. I then assume that they are capable of the same thing, because they are, it’s only that they aren’t aware of it yet, and make them guess me instead. I don’t give them everything, because I want them to figure it out for themselves. This is a nasty little game I play towards people I find to have potential to be something more than just some pawn or brick in my way of life.

To get to the point, I try to understand others, I then always try to see and think from their perspective and often deliberately I walk on their toes to see if they have the guts to do something about it. Like just say; no, I don’t like that. Or; would you please stop doing that? I also try to find out what they would get really don’t accept to their outer limits and then try not to do it again if I have chosen to respect them. Those I respect I greet with appropriate respect, but ALL I’m with I’m trying to treat as equals. Do to others only what you want to be done to yourself, this rule is something I try to follow when it comes to my “circle of friends” even though it’s not a circle… and I do not consider you friends.

Some of you all out there that may read this, I want to be friends with, I really want to. Because sometimes even I get lonely and want just to let out a roar, even though I only grow stronger by being by myself and dealing with my own demons by myself. But, it’s always a but, I don’t want to be friends with someone who won’t, can’t or aren’t try to understand me, though I have one or two exceptions, although not by choice.

Well, this is all about the blog and what I write on it, so summary is that if you do not understand what I’m speaking of on the blog, or even try to understand it. You would just make me angry at you if you just try to be funny or post something you think is funny just because you don’t understand or even have the will to do it. Read it if you want to, laugh at it if you want to, joke about it if you want to1 but never post or try to make fun of serious posts on my own blog if you even intend to stay on my good side.2

Well, se that as a warning and a guide to me. Well, or whatever…

I will probably finish the seventh and last chapter of the prehistoric ages before the week ends, but I cannot promise anything. It will contain a lot, so I believe that it will be the longest chapter so far3 and hopefully it will be the most interesting too when it will have many current information that players that actually care about the world should have good use of. It’s easier to understand and play in a fantasy world if you understand how it works too.

I have a small hope that the last of the stuff we’ve ordered will come tomorrow, so if I’m lucky I will have about 30 new figurines tomorrow and some crystal shaped dices to play around with. Yeah, let’s see if some of the fears of the group will come true tomorrow (today). It should be fun to se how things will develop and if I can keep up my planning with my performance. My performance is one of the most important things so the players can act accordingly.

Well enough about everything… I think I will calm down with some PS2 and then go to bed. Need to be in the right mood tomorrow otherwise the session could as well be cancelled.

Best regards,
Herid Fel


  1. If you are that kind of lowly scum that does things like that behind others backs, I certainly hope that I haven’t given this blog address to anyone that is such a scumbag. 

  2. Like the cocky little Robert would say about now; “Oh, I’m scary…”, some bad habit of his. 

  3. With chapter VI being the longest one so far with 5 pages 

Herid Fel

Well, ain't a blog enough?

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