Random Jibberish

Life ain’t fair, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re living it.

“What the fuck is the Nigger babbling about?” you may think now. Well, to be honest I just want to sound some thoughts. It’s about an hour after midnight, Monday, even thou I’ll post this to Sunday due to the sole fact that Sunday ain’t over according to me.

For some the sports holiday is over, just about two more free days due to same competence days for the teachers. In this case I’m talking about Robert. I don’t keep track of others really. Not that I care about too many people. I care about myself, Robert, RPG and in some extent to those related to the previous stated things.

The past few days there’s been a lot of roleplaying and I’ve actually had too little at home to have the energy to actually play all-out. But well, tea walks and cleaning always does the trick, as well as never giving up. Two players died the last session for the big group. A tragic sorrowful death, but I’ll leave the reactions to the players themselves with only this hint in mind. I could had saved them, with some spectacular dramatic entrance from a mystical dude of doom and darkness… but there’s on end on that.

As I’ve said a few sessions ago, the fate-controlled destiny the players had upon them as “yellow threads” are soon over. You aren’t a Starlead all your life, but just all your life during a period of your life.¹ So the “imbah” guys of doom and darkness will soon take their leave an leave you to control your own lives.

I think I may demand too much and even overestimate the kids. I actually almost have the same demands on the kids as I have on the big group, the big difference is that I give them easier rolls, some extra rolls and try to coach them in different situations when they seem to be at a loss on what to do. My principle, that I have forged when I was about their age, to always try to meet people like my equals until proven otherwise and to give people a chance to prove themselves, seem to be a problem. That and the fact that I want to believe that they are as sophisticated and bright as some my age, seem to cloud my dealings with them as game master as well as an older… comrade?

Come to think about it, I can’t really fit my relation to them both. I may be only game master for Rasmus, but lately it’s not like that. And when it comes to Robert I’m more like a semi-family member or something which is a little bit confusing and annoying. Not to mention that they both are in the age when ignorance and nonchalance are in reign of their behaviour. But underneath all this one can see how they actually start to form a logical pattern in their thinking, even if unwished traits may be present and may stabilize as well. But well, I guess the big problem is that I want to treat them as I do equals, but most likely they aren’t used to that since most people treat kids below the age of 18 as inferior in any way, which makes them act like that too…

Well, I don’t feel like writing anything else. I thought that maybe I’ll write about the mini-abilities but that will be some other day, some other time.

Best regards,
Herid Fel

1. This is a little complex thing to really explain, but in some sense it’s almost like time have two axis’. One determining the present future and determining the coming future… ↩