Random Rabble

Well, sometimes when you have a lot on your mind and nothing to do with it, it feels very good to just sit down, eat and talk to yourself about yourself. I don’t really know about others, but I talk to myself a lot. Sing, talk and whistle when I’m alone. Well, some deny that they ever talk to themselves while others do it just a little. Others even state that talking to yourself is a sign of madness…

I don’t really consider myself mad. Crazy maybe, but not mad. The difference is quite radical, if you ask me. If you are mad you lack judgement, reason and logic or anything even the slightest similar to a structured mind. While a crazy person have some weird way of doing things, a different style and are all and all a little backwards compared to others. Strange, but not completely out of his mind. Just… different. At least that’s what I think.

Relations, relationships, relate…. Such fine words, with such deep great meaning. To be able to create relations, to be able to grow in a relationship and to be able to relate to others, these are very important things for a simple human. We can’t live without relations to others, because the mere fact that we are alive says that we have relations to others, and by having relations we automatically end up in relationships with those around us. Family, friends, classmates, boy/girlfriends etcetera. But for some, or rather most, of these relationships to work (in other words; are able to help one grow) we need to relate to those in these relationship. This is a really complex working that actually forms your personality, your life views and everything you treasure, even how you treasure it.

I feel like relations are important, as long as I have the right amount of relations, not too much or too little. But relationships, real ones that you actually need to form yourself… always seem to be better thinking and dreaming of rather than be in. A relationship often destroys what you actually want and how you want it, even thou what you want is impossible. But still, we have our urges and the laws of nature that tries to force us into relationships.

I bought a large battle mat today and it’s huge! The big mat, on which I’ve painted the world map of Yurin on, is about as long as this mat is wide. And it’s almost as long as my kitchen table… It can fit about three small battle mats’ (and those are the ones we have used so far), and it’s almost a meter wide… I wonder if I will use it in a big battle sometime. I sure want to try a big, big battle on it, but then again I need to have the energy as well as the ideas and motivation to play it out. But well, the future will tell that.

Soon I’m going to play a single-session with Hedemalm. I think I’ll have a little battle, and some almost game-like tutorial for the rules and then go on to introduce him to his characters view of the world. Here I have a great advantage. Most of my current players have a very big problem with separating their characters view of the world from their own out-of-game knowledge. Some tries to filter it out… which often works very, vary badly, while others don’t even think about it and even think in the patterns based on things they actually don’t know… this annoys me a great deal. But while dealing with the kids, this seems pretty easy. They don’t know so much and even if one tells it too them it’s seldom they actually remember it while playing. Heh, taking advantage of the kid brain whose memory capacity just soon will develop.

The memory is quite an interesting thing; you record and learn from it all the time and by the end of the day your brain often process everything that have happened and then tosses it away for the long-term memory to take care of. In the beginning (the infant years) you haven’t even developed the centra for long-term memory, so after you’ve learned the information goes out to the outer cell membrane of your brain and then slowly disappears. But the long-term memories start to develop around your early years (3-6) when the world starts expanding too. But you aren’t able to really use your memory to the fullest before 14-16 depending on your metabolism. Therefore a lot of impressions and thoughts get lost in the process of development of the human brain. It’s like having a computer but not being able to actually sort your files in folders until you’re six and not able to name the folders until you’re ten and first at sixteen get the ability to search and catalogize the memory, interesting indeed…

Well, now some role-playing games. I were supposed to play with the kids today… but well. They had school so they couldn’t, and I actually was (still is) on a very great mood to play and looked forward to see and play with Robert… But well, I guess it will be some other time. But if I have the same mood and need then… nobody knows…

Best regards,
Herid Fel