Behaviorisms

Adapting, Complainant, Controlling, Obsessive and Finicky

But I wonder if all that is true. Zaphod made me think a little about those things just by doing what I’m usually do, sound my opinions.

For starters, she thinks I’m complaining all the time. Either that or my condescending tone makes much of what I say sounds like a complaint. That may be true; I know I’m condescending and such. Which is the way I am, and I prefer to stay this way too. Still, when she said that I actually tried to restrain myself and instead listening to my own complains in my head. This is when I discovered how much I actually complain. Heh, not that all complains of mine are voiced. Just the ones I don’t rationalize away with reason and principles. It’s really interesting, I think.

One of the best things when Zaphod is here is that she actually bosses around. I let her have her way and try to be as uncontrolling as possible. This is quite okay sometimes. I mean, usually I need to decide and do everything by my own choice. But sometimes it’s nice to have someone else to boss around ordering things. But usually I have very strict visions about what I want and how I want it. That’s one thing I observed when she cooked her food in my kitchen…
This was really a test of restraint and patience. She really did things in other ways than I do, and a quite messy way too. But in the end she got things done, and things weren’t so hard to clean up either.

About the other behaviourisms, it’s my own observations. I try to adapt to every situation as long as it fit my principles. I mean, none can survive a long time in my presence without noticing how egocentric I am. I won’t add much to this due to the simple fact that I don’t want to talk about this with every single idiot that just happens to read my blog. Interest will reward itself. So let’s leave an explanation for some other time (never).

Well, having Zaphod here really have brought up some interesting thoughts. Reflection is good, and well lately I’ve been trying to do self observations, which is very hard. It’s easy to observe and understand others. But when it comes to me all my assumptions about myself feels like… unobjective. “Everyone sees themselves as they wanna be.” So most likely my own observations of myself may be infected by my own vision of myself.

Well, not much more to add. This weekend have brought up some thoughts as well as feelings such as regret (as in yearning).

Best regards,
Herid Fel