Chapter Two – The Tavern in Keanor
“Out of the way,” growled the man as he forced his way past Karlen and out into the street. Karlen ignored the man and suppressed the urge to yell something back and instead searched his way trough the crowd in the common room to a vacant table along one of the walls. As he sat down his eyes swept trough the common room and all the people occupying the room. At this time the common room was pretty lively with workers and sailors trying to get something to eat and drink before their last work shift of the day. Here and there he saw adventurers from Deben and Meno and talking to the bartender was a hiresword, probably from Katia.
He knew she was a hiresword due to the symbol hanging on her right shoulderpad, a little golden eye, which showed that she was for hire. He too had had one of those, but he had tossed it when he realized that it caused more trouble than it was worth.
“Is this seat occupied?” a friendly voice suddenly asked. Karlen turned his head and after a quick look on this slender elf he nodded. The elf smiled thankfully against Karlen and sat down on the chair next to him at the table. The elf had a long and pale face with long dark-brown hair falling down over his shoulders. He had a green shirt and a brown leather west and a worn-out grey cloak on his shoulders.
“So what’s your business here in Keanor, friend?” the elf asked lightly as he waved to a barmaid to come to the table. He glanced at Karlen and smiled warmly.
“You don’t need to be suspicious of me, traveler, I’m just making conversation. I am Trelov by the way, nice to meet you,” he said, reaching out his hand for shaking. Karlen shook his hand, careful to not let his eyes off Trelov. “Karlen”, he answered shortly and returned to observing the room while Trelov ordered a pie and some mead. He himself ordered a beef and potatoes and a can of milk.
“Milk, for a strong man like you? I’m surprised,” Trelov said after the barmaid had left.
“Milk strengthens the bone and restores the body and soul,” he answered and Trelov nodded understanding. The hiresword at the bar stopped talking to the bartender and threw a hasty look trough the room and for a moment their eyes met and he got all cold inside, he knew her. She turned around and walked out from the Tavern without any sign that she had recognized him. He sighed with relief, if she knew he was here, than he would be in big trouble. Last time they met they had been allies but that time ended badly and this time he was certain that she wasn’t on his side.
“What, did you see anyone you liked?” Trelov suddenly said and laughed. “The women here certainly are beautiful, don’t you think? Especially the elven ones. So normal yet so… elegant. I can’t really explain,“ he stopped as Karlen glared at him and mumbled a low excuse and looked away.
The barmaid came with their food and drink and put it down the table. After they had paid her she made a low curtsey and smiled before she ran to another table to pick up yet an order from a customer. During the meal Trelov talked about everything from where he had been to how beautiful he thought the Katian cities were. Katian cities, beautiful? Was he mad? The Katian cities was well known for their filthy streets and the smell of steam and smoke allover the major cities. No, Katian cities were a technological dirty mess with few poorly paved streets. Keanor was one of the few cities he knew that didn’t have technology at all, and all was because they feared that the Debians would think poorly of them not to have fortified outposts.
After he had finished his meal he stood up and started to walk out of the room, he noticed that Trelov followed him and when they reached the door he turned around and faced him. Trelov looked at him with a questioning look on his face.
“You are following me,” Karlen said calmly. Trelov smiled and bowed a little. “I’m sorry, but does that disturb you? I didn’t mean to annoy you, I’m simply just following you out, to share part of the way with someone. I can go, if you want me to,” he said and started to walk by Karlen, but he stopped the elf.
“Do you know of any boats that will go down the Iceriver this afternoon? I need a ship to take me to province twelve,” when he said that Trelov smiled again. “Of course I do, my friend, I happened to be on my way to province twelve too,” his smile fainted when he looked on Karlens harsh face. Karlen sighed annoyed and tried to look friendlier as he asked Trelov to show him to the captain of the boat.
“Of course my lord, follow me my lord,” he said hurring out of the door.
Lord? Him? This elf was nuts, he didn’t even look like a lord.
As he followed Trelov out into the streets he felt like sudden pressure that he had felt before, had just increased it’s weight.
Interesting story, it keeps dragging me on to read more.
I can’t find many things to correct this time, except the last sentence where you forgot an ‘s’. But I would also switch position of two words so it will end in “… wondering why the feeling of being weight down by something had just increased.”.
So, we are introducing milk-drinking propaganda here? Soon the one thing missing from Karlen to be an idealized version of yourself is the paranoia (or maybe not). Which he seem to have an stunning lack of.
And about the challenge; it seems more and more like he is indeed a human.
About the golden eye: Is this some kind of sign that led to the name of the organisation “The Eye”? Since as far as I understand, all this occurs way before it’s founding.
I wonder if the unknown guy from Ch.1 could actually be an elf named Trelov… But that would be too easy…
I’m glad that somebody liked it, but as it seems like now this will be the last chapter I write on this story if I don’t get any more feedback.
Sad but true.
Hehe, I will see to it at once. I had much trouble with that sentence actually. I don’t like it right now but I can’t see any other way to embed that message… But well, maybe I’ll come up with something.
Haha, actually I don’t see Karlen as me, not even far as for the paranoia, I actually writed a much more hostile version at first, but it wouldn’t be really the Karlen I wanted. Just hostile, he is more a reserved character. But just wait and see and you will hopefully get a better picture of him later.
I have changed quite a lot in Nianze history as well as the society. The Eye actually was founded about this age. I can write a background story about the founding of The Eye as well as the how it works, if people like too.
Hehe, well, who knows who Trelov is, maybe he is the guy from the alley, maybe he isn’t. Time will tell…
Hmm det svåra med storys är att få läsarens intresse tidigt. Du lyckas ganska bra och med tanke på storyns utvecklande fångar den nog mer intresse eftersom.
Jag gillar dina två första kapitel. Jag tycker det är rätt att inte gå för snabbt fram i utvecklingen av berättelsen eller lägga in någonting revolutionerande tidigt. (ok vi som läsare kan misstänka en del saker men inte mycket är sagt rakt ut)
Eftersom det inte är en berättelse som börjar med en “grand slam” skriver du bra.
Keep it going 😉
Thanks!
Yes, I know it’s hard to make the story interesting from the beginning but I try my best.
I will write the third chapter now, but I would like all that have any thoughts about my work to write their opinions and such here.
If not, well, then this story won’t last for long.
Best regards,
Herid Fel
I found it an interesting read and I’m looking forward to reading more. Your writing is well balanced with a good pace.
Keep it up.