What the future holds

My oh, my…

I have probably whined enough if I ask you, well I’m not asking. So I will yet write and whine or whatever you want to call it.
That is a little pathetic. I write as I write to an amount of people, but actually it’s barely two that reads this blog continuously. So I guess I’m really addressing myself in the present as well in the future.

I will use this blog in the future as a reference, and as a base for my self analyzing. When I think I’m capable of this, which I don’t think I am… yet.

Today, well… not much of any importance either, as usual…
The morning was spent to wake up, around 0700, when the ones that slept here started to wake up. After some chatting in the kitchen, that looked horribly after the party. We saw a movie that was very funny and entertaining.

The day moved slowly forward and after disappointing PB once again by declaring Sunday, he went home soon thereafter. Signe on the other hand, stayed for a bit longer. And we even had dinner at Teo’s and after a movie she too left.

Well the eve ended up with the Foppa and Robert coming over and watching some movies, just fooling around and some chatting about RPG before the got home about 2215.

So well…
How will it turn out in the future? The older ones of those I care about just worry about their life and don’t seem to find peace in any action, so the complain one way or another, and generally think that their life sucks.

Well sorry guys, but my empathy is starting to run low now. I can’t relate and understand all your problems, for technically, I have more problems than you. And technically all your problems are peace of cake, for both you and me.

But what happens if I try to point that out? Well, people just complain, they don’t want to relate, they don’t want advice, they don’t want caring and especially they don’t want me to help them in any way. Because for me things are possible, that actually are possible for them, but they just need to realize that, but while pointing that out I sound like I’m pressing them down, and to them, it’s a partial insult.
Well… what to do about that? Well, what can I do?

People don’t seem to care about mutual respect, and to actually share their life with someone, they don’t seem to care about their own goal, the only thing they concentrate about is what they don’t have, what they haven’t achieved and what they haven’t been trough…

GHAAR! What does friendship mean to you guys? What does love, caring and connection mean to you?
Annoyance, ludicrous, absurd, unthinkable?
Am I completely wrong with my views or are you just not wanting anything for yourself in this life?

It saddens me to feel rejection and to se people strive for things that they can have, but that they just ignore all the time because of hundreds of reasons that barely seem sound even to themselves.

Forgive me if I’m rude, or leave me for it. But well, understanding is an important part of everything. I understand much of those I’m socializing with, but just my attempt to learn and to feel what they feel, is just being regarded as something arrogant and supercilious.

Well, don’t relate, don’t connect, be alone in your little world while I’m standing here with my hand open. I need people, but I only need a few and I can abandon the ones that don’t want me there. I can abandon everyone who wants me too, even thou I don’t want it myself.

Well, none will reply or even try to understand what I said right now. So well, we will se what the future holds for us…

Best regards,
Herid Fel