Back and Forth

I can’t decide, and I can’t tell if what I’m thinking is what I want.
One moment I want this and my feelings about that choice is all blurred up and twisted and the other moment I suddenly want something else. How can one know, if what one is thinking and wanting one moment really are what one really wants deep inside? It’s confusing wrestling with different thoughts that lead to different paths.

That is confusing indeed and it’s not easy to sort it all out when both choices and feelings goes in two different directions. Like many say; Life ain’t easy.
Thou I don’t concur to that. I think life is very easy… Just a little bit tricky to survive sometimes, hehe.

However, the choice is needed to be made and well… every time I think I’m getting forward I get this confusing quarrels inside that sets me back to where I began. I need to make these changes in my life if it is to work properly in the future.
And with this burden’s on my shoulders I’m not getting anywhere. But the choice is not entirely upon me either. I need to consider and meet up with others on this too, and if I’m lucky they decide it for me. Which just leave me the fact that I’ll have to deal with the consequences of the action itself.

So back and forth my thoughts go. And still I’m not near a conclusion. I think it’s… fear or cowardice for the changes it might bring that is making me hesitate…

Well, good night too you all.

Best regards,
Herid Fel